Reacting vs. Responding

There is a very thin line between reacting and responding to an outburst or a comment from your child and whichever you choose to do makes a huge difference on how your child learns from what they said or did. If you break it down, it's pretty simple:

Reacting:

Reacting is done strictly through emotion. You don't think about it, you just react. That may be a giggle after your child says a bad word, or yelling at your child after they continue to throw a fit. Either one is a reaction because it wasn't thought through. It was done out of anger, or humor, or just habit. Either way, reacting is never the right way to go. This is how bad habits form and where something usually goes wrong.

Responding:

Responding is the flip side of reacting. This is methodical, well thought-out, non-emotional, and logical. This is where things go right. When you respond, you listen to what was said, take a second to think about what to do next, and then follow through. This is something that should be positive and active. You are taking part in a conversation rather than fighting to win.

Let's give an example. Let's say your child has been throwing a screaming fit for the past 20 minutes and you have had enough. You can react: raise your voice and tell them that's enough, or you can respond: get down on their level and calmly tell them that once they're done, you'd love to give them a hug.

Responding always brings the most positive outcome from any conversation you may have, whether that be your child or an adult. If you need help in responding rather than reacting, let us know and we can help.